Family support
Family support resources.
When someone you love is struggling, you need support too. Here's where to start.
How to talk to a loved one.
Pick the moment, not the crisis
A calm, sober, private moment lands better than the middle of an argument. There is rarely a perfect time. There is usually a better one.
Lead with what you see, not what they are
"I've noticed you haven't been sleeping" is easier to hear than "you're an addict." Describing behaviour keeps the door open; labels close it.
Say what you're afraid of
Honest worry is not an attack. Telling someone you're frightened for them is often the most persuasive thing you can say.
Offer a next step, not an ultimatum
Having a specific option ready (a phone number, an appointment, a ride) makes saying yes small enough to be possible.
About interventions.
A formal intervention, where family and friends confront someone together, can work, but it can also damage trust badly enough to push treatment further away. It is not something to improvise.
If you're considering one, talk to a professional first. Call us and we'll help you think it through honestly, including whether a quieter conversation would serve your family better.
973-239-4600
Support groups & New Jersey resources.
Al-Anon
Free peer support for families and friends affected by someone's drinking. Meetings run across New Jersey, in person and online. al-anon.org ↗
Nar-Anon
The counterpart to Al-Anon for families affected by someone's drug use. nar-anon.org ↗
ReachNJ
New Jersey's 24/7 addiction helpline: 1-844-REACHNJ. Free and confidential, for residents anywhere in the state.
New Jersey Division of Mental Health & Addiction Services
State-level information on licensed treatment and support services in New Jersey.
Common questions.
Can I get help if my loved one refuses treatment?
Yes. You can call us to talk through your situation and your options even if the person you're worried about hasn't agreed to anything. Support for you is not conditional on them saying yes.
How do I stop enabling?
Enabling usually means removing the natural consequences of someone's use: covering debts, making excuses, smoothing things over. Stopping doesn't mean withdrawing love; it means being clear about what you will and won't do, and holding to it. A support group is the most reliable place to work out where your line is.
What is Al-Anon?
A free peer-support program for families and friends affected by someone's drinking. Nar-Anon is its counterpart for drug use. Neither requires the person you're worried about to be in treatment, or even to know you're attending.
You don't have to do this alone.
Support for you doesn't depend on them being ready.